How Day Camp Can Build Your Child’s Social Confidence

Day Camp isn’t just an opportunity for your child to try a new activity and get exercise. It’s also be a great chance to gain a stronger sense of self-worth (feeling like she’s a good person, worth being respected and treated fairly) and self-confidence (believing that they can handle themselves in new situations and tackle new challenges). When she participates in the right day camp, your child has the opportunity to learn a new skill, (from basketball to acting or swimming) or improve on a skill they already love, building their confidence and leaving them with a greater sense of accomplishment. Whether they master the slap shot in hockey or discover that they can perform 3 counts of 8 in a routine at dance camp, a week honing a craft is an excellent way to boost your child’s self-image.

And Day Camp can also be a terrific opportunity for your child to stretch his social skills leaving him more socially confident. The refreshing change in scene (and cast of characters) from school may be just what your child needs to work on communication skills and flexibility within a social scene. And whether it’s working out who plays what character in drama camp or figuring out where to sit at lunch in art camp, Day Camp gives your child practice working on essential social skills like turn taking and cooperation. These short term camps allow your child to spend a week or two with a new social group in a different social setting, testing their team building skills away from the classroom. Day Camp can arm your child with a handful of stronger social skill—like flexibility, and cooperation, allowing them to be more successful when they head back to school in the fall.

Day camp can be an awesome vacation from last year’s school social drama, and can feel like a clean slate when it comes to reputations and social cliques. Being with a new group of kids can also allow your child to see other perspectives, and practice communication skills in a different setting. When you know you are only spending a week with a group of people you can have a different type of confidence to try out new communication skills. Not having the reputation of the shy kid, the bad kid, the talkative kid or the mean kid can be such a breath of fresh air for anyone. Shed your reputation, work on some communication skills, gain confidence and let that newfound social confidence transfer into a healthier happier school year come September.

Things You can do to make camp more successful:

There’s the Spirit– Support your child in their willingness to participate in spirit days. It’s camp- so it’s supposed to be fun! So don’t force them to wear their PJ’s for Pajama Day if they aren’t into it. But if they are into celebrating those theme days, dig out your glue gun and provide some fun materials when it’s Crazy Hat Day. Head to the Dollar Store for a hula skirt on Hawaii Day. You might be surprised at how much your ‘usually shy’ kid might be willing to try their hand at stepping outside their comfort zone and taking a risk. But again- Don’t push!! Let your child lead the way on this one.

Keep the Evening Schedule Light: Camp isn’t just physically tiring. Being in a new social scene following a new set of rules and schedules is emotionally and mentally tiring as well. So don’t plan evening events during camp week. Postpone play dates and skip soccer practice if you can so your child can focus all of his energy into getting the most out of camp.

A Hangry Camper isn’t a Happy Camper: Pack enough food for the day. Sometimes parents pack a typical school lunch for their kids, forgetting the day is longer. And again, in these new social scenes you may find their nervous stomach won’t allow them to eat much on Monday, but by Wednesday they are famished and out of food.

Read some Self-Esteem Boosting Books: My picture book, WILLOW’S WHISPERS (Kids Can Press, 2014) is a great book to read to your child about self-confidence, self-worth and speaking up for yourself.

willow_s_whisperswillow finds a way

My picture book WILLOW FINDS A WAY (Kids Can Press, 2013) is a great book to read your child about handling sticky social situations.

 

Un-Planning Perfect Summer Memories for Your Kids

So it’s the second week of summer and you might be feeling summer planning stress. As much as I tried to enjoy schedule free days when my three girls were young, in summer I often turned me into my own version of cruise director Julie from The Love Boat. For the under 40 crowd, Julie carried around a clip board in this 70’s TV show, with an endless list of perfect vacation activities. I tackled many summer days stressed to make this the best summer for my kids, and piled up the mom guilt if there wasn’t a fun activity, an organized day trip, or a magazine worthy summer snack (because hello, this was pre-Pinterest days- thank God!)  As a seasoned early childhood educator and Mom of three girls who all survived summer breaks through post secondary education, I’m here to tell you to enjoy your young child’s school free days— Because the secret to perfecting super summer memories is all in the un-planning.

Looking back, my girls say that some of their favorite summer memories involved a handful of water balloons that turned into days of entertainment. (I’m not joking- days! They wouldn’t throw them- they kept them, named them, created little water balloon habitats for them out of tissues and shoe boxes, and wept for them when they broke.) My girls spent hours playing store, or performing in home made shows. Some of their best summer experiences were those unplanned afternoons where adventure was created with the spark of their own imaginations. So here are 3 easy steps for un-planning perfect summer memories for your kids:

Time! Your kids need time. I’m talking unstructured, unplanned, uninterrupted time- with no screens within scrolling distance. Not every day. And I’m certainly not telling you to cancel your vacation. But now and then, strike a few things off that list of awesome summer activities and let your kids figure out what their day looks like. If your kid’s typical summer day is buckling in and out of car seats to get from swim dates to bowling to junior tai chi in the park then they won’t get the chance to stretch their imaginations and find out what adventure lies just past, “I’m bored.”

You’ve got to steel yourself. It’s kind of like those parents who sleep train. You know the beginning will be tough, but it will be worth it in the end. And, just like sleep training, you’ve got to trust the process. When the whining and lamenting starts about how very awful this incredibly boring day is, just shoo them back to wherever they came from- the backyard, the playroom, or wherever they are congregating -and tell them to ‘go play’. It’s common, during this transitional phase, to hear lots of groaning and moaning, but trust me! The magic starts right after the last, “There’s nothing to do!”

Warning: If kids aren’t used to stretching their imaginations, it might take a while. But every child has a magic sense of play inside them, and when you give a child time and space, they will find a spark. Not only that, but creativity and imagination, like many things, grow when you feed it. The more practice your kids get at using their imaginations and coming up with their own fun, the better and faster they will get at it. At some point the whining will stop and there will be an eery quiet…Your parent instinct kicks in… ‘What are they doing??’ You’ll head into the room to see spaces being created, characters divvied out, props being gathered. It might look strange at first. What exactly are they doing? You see the spark of imagination ignited in their eyes. That, mom and dad, is playing.

Support the Spark. Nothing supports a spark more than adding a few simple props. If the game involves a store, hand them a few pens. If they are creating a circus, give them an empty box or two. Clothespins, bed sheets, a deck of cards- simple props added to a spark of imagination are like dry kindling to a campfire.

Warning: Don’t butt in! Nothing squashes a spark faster than a well-intentioned adult who takes over the game. “You should add the clips here so the tent is more stable,” will have your kids abandoning the game and reaching for their iPads faster than you can say Fortnite. As a seasoned ECE who’s stepped in too far and squashed a spark on more than one occasion, I’m here to tell you that there’s an art to this. Position a few enticing props in their range, (like placing food within reach of an un-trusting stray) make a broad statement like, “Hey, maybe you’d like to use these,” then leave them bee. You can spy on them from the next room. Believe me, you’re gonna feel your kid’s excitement when you hear them exclaim, “Hey cool! Let’s use these for….” And they are off!

Ignore the Mess. The good part, when my kids played store, was that they created an intricate dramatic play game playing with each other for hours. And I am here to tell you, as I place my Early Childhood Educator cap on, that this type of play is essential for your child’s growth and development, and will make them a better student come September. Children develop problem-solving skills, increase their communication skills, learn to appreciate and deal with multiple perspectives, all while building their confidence as an innovator, and increasing their imagination and creativity. Tell me those things won’t come in handy when put in groups at school, told to work together, come up with an innovative idea for their project…etc.

Okay, so the bad news about this type of high-level dramatic play is that it can trash at least one of the rooms in your house. Not permanently! Just in the- ‘this room looks like it sneezed’ kind of trashed. Teeny tiny ‘price tag’ paper would be everywhere. Every toy and stuffed animal was out of it’s ‘tidied up’ spot and displayed. The mess would make me crazy! But those hours of play were worth it. And honestly, my girls are 19, 21 and 24 years old. There is no better feeling as a mom who no longer tidies up toys, than listening her girls reminisce, “Hey, remember when we played store! That was the best!”

So un-plan a few days, and let your kids create some great summer memories.

Some of my favorite stories about that magical sense of play are:

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The Wonderful Pigs of Jillian Jiggs by Phoebe Gillman

https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/home/search/?keywords=The%20Wonderful%20Pigs%20of%20Jillian%20Jiggs#internal=1

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My Think-a-Ma-Jink by Dave Whammond

https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/home/search/?keywords=My%20Think-aMa-Jink#internal=1

 

0340988193 Stanley’s Stick by John Hegley

https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/stanleys-stick/9780340988190-item.html